Tuesday 30 October 2007

One day down....A lifetime to go.....

Well I DID IT!!!!!! I stuck to my eating plan for a whole day and went to my Spin class last night. The only way I deviated from my plan is that I didn't have the fish and vegies for dinner....I had 2 slices of grain toast with vegemite instead. This was because the fish had become frozen in the fridge. Weird??

The Spin class was so full-on. I was sweating like an animal and pushed myself really hard. There was a girl next to me with a full head of make-up, complete with pretty hair and pretty clothes. At the end of the class her make-up was still fully intact and all she had was a sparkle of sweat on her brow. Sometimes I wonder why people like this even bother! Is it just so she can tell everyone she does Spin classes?? Or, perhaps I am just simply jealous because she had an awesome figure!! I guess....why push hard when you don't really have to?

J and I had a big argument last night, with him once again picking on my weight. Funny thing is that it didn't even upset me this time. Ordinarily I would head straight for some chocolate or junk food to "console" myself. This time though I thought "Yes I am carrying some extra kilos but I am now doing something about it and I will lose it.....for me!!". Each time he makes nasty comments towards me, it just chips away at our relationship and makes me really question why I am with someone that so negatively affects my self esteem. J used to be so lovely towards me but lately he is just cold and basically ignores me. I guess only time will tell if we stay together but my patience is wearing very thin. The only reason I stay with him is because I am scared to be alone....but in all honesty, I spend so much time alone now that I may as well be single.

My Mum goes into hospital for an operation tomorrow. She is having a hysterectomy. She thinks she should only be in hospital for one night but one doctor said it may be 5 nights. I hope it all goes OK for her. I will go and visit her tomorrow after work and take her some flowers. I feel sorry for my Mum....She has had a really tough life. Always made bad choices in men, struggled to bring up 3 kids as a single Mum and now she is 62 and has been single for years. I wonder if she gets lonely?? I worry what will happen if my sister ever leaves home.

Plan for today:
BREAKFAST: Fruit salad
MORNING TEA: 11 rice crackers
LUNCH: Grain roll with chicken and salad
AFTERNOON TEA: Carrot and celery sticks and a handful of nuts
DINNER: The fish I guess....with vegies
DESSERT: Lifesaver iceblock
EXERCISE: 1 hour Boxing class

Fingers crossed I can be "good" for another day!

Miss Pinky.

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