Broken Hearted

So the story goes like this…..
J broke up with me on Wednesday night. Said he “couldn’t live like this anymore”. Well, another one bites the dust! It lasted 2 years and 4 months. We were engaged which makes it all a little harder. For some reason I honestly believed him when he said we would be together forever. What the f**k does “forever” mean these days anyway??!!! I feel terribly betrayed and I swing between being absolutely devastated and crying non-stop, to being so angry I feel like smashing something. Things were so fantastic at first. I had never felt anything like it. I was so completely and utterly head over heels in love and he adored me! I KNEW that I meant a lot to him. How did it all get so messed up?? How could it go from so perfect to non-existent?? I was completely willing to stay together and work towards a solution but he decided he wanted out. So, now I must learn to live with this decision and carve out a new “routine” that does not include J.

I will stay at the house and I will keep the dogs. He will find somewhere else to live and will take his car and the scooter. I will need to get myself a crappy little car to get to work because there is no public transport that I can get to my work.

I think I will see if my sister (19 years old) is going out tonight and I may head out with her to get my mind off everything. It is going to be tough but I know I will survive…..I have been broken up with many times before and always recovered. I just wish I did not have to deal with this though. It feels like such a shame and such a a waste.

Needless to say, I am finding the exercise a little hard right now. I can’t motivate myself to leave the house. I haven’t even taken the dogs out for 2 days and have been using the rain as an excuse. Truth is, I just feel so deflated!!!

I stuck to my food plan yesterday but had 2 pieces of toast with light peanut butter for dinner instead of the steak and vegies. By the time I had finished crying and trying to change J’s mind, it was too late to cook.

Plan For Today:
Breakfast: Cereal, skim, ½ banana
Morn tea: Rice crackers
Lunch: Grain roll, chicken, lettuce, tomato, low-fat dijonnaise
Afternoon tea: Grapes and an orange
Dinner: Salty tears…..Hopefully steak and vegies or toast if I am emotional
Dessert: I don’t really care
Exercise: Maybe a run this afternoon but I am guessing nothing. I will definitely do a couple of Spin classes on the weekend….

Thanks to people who have left comments on here. Thanks Tiny Donna for mentioning me on your Blog!!!!….I have no idea how to add a link to your Blog as I am a technical idiot! As well as a relationship IDIOT!!!!

Have a great weekend all and NEVER TAKE A RELATIONSHIP FOR GRANTED!!!! Please take this advice from someone who has been dumped more times than they have had hot dinners!

Miss Pinky