Feeling Better

I had a big talk with J on the weekend.....Basically we discussed how we feel we are "drifting" through life with no real goals we are trying to achieve. J's main "goal" in life is to own a house. He owned one in Melbourne, which was sold when his marriage broke up and he loved the feeling that home ownership gave him. The only problem is that the Sydney real estate market is much harder to break into than Melbourne due to much higher prices. Anyway....he has spoken to a broker who thinks if we can just come up with $10K, he should be able to help us. I am not overly fussed to own a place but I do understand it is smarter than renting and does come with security, which renting does not. My issue was that J had this as a goal but had no real steps in place to achieve this goal. I wanted him to sit down and work out a savings plan to achieve his goal.

My goals in life were to get married and to have a baby but after our talk on the weekend, I am not sure whether I really do want the marriage anymore?? Having witnessed many relationship breakdowns in my life (including my own), I am of the belief that marriage does not stop people walking away....and I think that is what I wanted marriage for....the security. Getting married is very expensive (I am still paying off my first wedding!) and it would not change the essence of our relationship. When I was married the first time, I did not take my husband's surname and I don't think I want to give up my name because I really like it. I felt that the fact we had been engaged for almost a year, with no wedding plans in place, was "unfinished business" that needed to be completed but now I am not so sure it is what I want?? I still want to be in a committed relationship with J but I don't know if we need the marriage for this??

I still definitey want to have one child though. If it were up to me, I would have one now. The issue is that J feels he has to be "set up" for this to happen.....meaning that he would like to own a house and have savings before we go ahead. I believe that most people will not sit down and say "Now we are ready for a baby"....They just do the best they can with what they have. I am nearly 30 and feel that if I don't seriously think about this, I may miss out altogether.

Jack is still very sad and quiet after his operation. Last night he even slept alone in the lounge room all night, which is very unusual for him. The wound area seems a bit "puffy" so J is taking him back to the vet today to have it looked at....Just in case. He is eating and going to the toilet as normal, so I hope all is good.

On a more positive note, I have a job interview tomorrow!! It is for a very well-known CHOCOLATE company....YUMMMMM!!!!!! The funny thing about it is that a girl that used to work at my old work left my old work to go and work there but I don't think she is still there....What a small world!!! I will let you know how I get on and will have to check with some people from my old work what she had to say about the role!

Enjoy your Monday
Miss Pinky