M.I.A

I have been missing in action for a while now. What have I been up to?? Eating and feeling very flat....and fat! I am in the biggest funk ever right now.....I just can't seem to pull myself together. What is wrong with me???!!!!! I say I hate being this weight but then I can only be good for 2 weeks at the most before eating everything in sight.....so obviously the junk food and the laziness is more important to me than losing weight.

This sounds really slack but I am going through a really tough time emotionally right now and I feel I need to concentrate on feeling happy (or at the very least not being miserable every waking hour) more so than concentrating on what I am eating and what exercise I am doing. Funny thing is that if I did some exercise I would probably feel 100% better but even that will not motivate my lazy arse to move!

Although I am feeling rather miserable right now, I am still excited for Xmas! I have no idea what I am doing or even which state I will be in ("state" as in location, not mental state) but I am still feeling happy about the whole thing. I have 2 weeks off work and I am hoping the break can clear some of these cobwebs from my frazzled head. I feel like such a loser right now. I hate when I can't get my shit together and just aimlessly ponder on things that upset me.

Yes folks....I am wallowing in self pity and sometimes this just feels like the right thing for me to do!

I had J's work Xmas party the other week. It was at a lovely restaurant at King St Wharf, overlooking the water. Beautiful food too. Only issue was I got a migraine just after the main course. Nobody had any nurofen (including silly me who never leaves home without it) so J had to go and buy some for me. I then had to sit outside for half an hour with my head down in my hands.....I am sure passers-by thought I was pissed! My migraines affect my vision so I need to close my eyes to get rid of them. After a while I felt OK (could see again) but was a bit tired from it all. I hate migraines!!! I managed to squeeze myself into the little red dress that I was supposed to weigh a few kilos less to wear. It still looked OK. I also got a few nice compliments on my new hairstyle, which is always nice. The night ended with a typical fight with J and so the saga continues....I won't bore you with the details as I am too embarrassed to admit how bad my relationship really is and the fact that I am still in this relationship will make me sound mentally unstable!

Anyway....I better get going and have some lunch.....Beef curry with rice....Yummo!!!! My hips are just hanging out to get even wider!

I notice today that Tiny Donna's blog has become "by invitation only". This distresses me as browsing Donna's blog fills a massive part of my working day. If anybody can tell me how to get my hands on one of these invitations, I would be most impressed......almost "happy" perhaps!

Miss Pinky