Over The Moon!!

Finally....after weeks of trying hard the scales have been kind to me! I weighed myself this morning before my run and I was down 1.2kgs at last!!! After my run, I lost another 0.6kgs but I generally do not like to go by that weight as it is mostly a false reading. It is so nice to see numbers that do not scare me to death! I also took my waist measurement and it is down around 2-3cms from a couple of weeks ago. I feel so much better about myself. It has really boosted my self esteem that my efforts are finally paying off! I was beginning to think I was doomed.

Yesterday I went for a run at lunch time around my Mum's house near the beach. It stopped raining for the duration of my run, which I was thankful for. The only issue was that, even though it was a cold day yesterday, I felt very hot. This is because I am used to running either before the sun comes up or as the sun is going down. I don't think my body enjoys being out running while the sun is up. The big hill killed me and there were many times I thought I would stop....but I didn't. This is where running is such a fabulous thing to do....You achieve things you never thought possible and, in turn, your belief in yourself and your abilities grows. I suffer a bit from depression (completely self-diagnosed and un-medicated) but I can't imagine how bad this may be if I didn't run. Studies have shown that exercise acts as a better anti-depressant than anti-depressant medications. This is because it releases endorphins in the brain.

This morning I have already been for my run so I am happy. I just did my normal 8km run around my area. It was very cold and my hands were numb on my return. I was supposed to run after work at my Mum's today but I decided to get it out of the way as rain is predicted for this afternoon. This way I can just spend some time chatting to my Mum instead of using her place for a shower!

I am going to do an 11km fun run that they are having in my area next Sunday (22nd). I only ever run 8km so I am rather scared! Most of it is downhill though and the route goes straight past my house so I figure if I am really dying I can just go inside my house and stop....ha ha ha!!! I think I will try and run the course on Saturday, so at least I know if I can physically do it or not. I dare say there will be many trips to the toilet on the morning of the 22nd, as I get really nervous before a run. Most people would not be so nervous, as they have the option of walking part of the course if they are too tired. My issue is that I NEED to run the whole course, no matter how slow, because otherwise I will feel like a massive failure and "beat myself up" over it! Low self-esteem is such a horrible thing!! I guess this is my "demon" in life though and at least I am not struggling with something harder such as alcohol or drug dependency.

My food has been very good. My only bad things yesterday were 2 lite biscuits and a small handful of M&M's. I think I am doing well....At least for now! The protein drink for breakfast seems to be working wonders to curb my appetite.

A funny thing happened yesterday. About a week ago, J put our mountain bikes on EBay to sell them. I got my bike for Christmas and I have only ever ridden it once. I had great intentions before I got it....I was going to cut out the running and cycle instead, I would ride everywhere, etc. My first ride was far too long for someone that had never ridden before and I could not make it back to my house. J had to cycle home and drive back to pick my bike and I up!!!! This turned me off for life! J is selling his bike to update to a road bike as he wants to start competing in triathlons. Anyway....he puts them on EBay but forgets to put a reserve price. Yesterday we get an email that they have been sold. My bike went for $193 and his for $225. I wanted minimum $300 for mine and he wanted minimum $350!!!! So we are very far off the mark but now he needs to sell them at the reduced price, as morally this is the right thing to do. The buyers are certainly getting a bargain, that's for sure! I think J will think twice before posting on EBay again!

I start back at Uni in a couple of weeks. It will be very interesting trying to juggle full-time work, 2 intensive Uni subjects, exercise, dogs and housework but I will just have to re-organise my time. I have no kids so surely I can make this work?! I am completing my Masters in Sexual Health and hoping to emerge in around 2 years time as a fully-qualified sex therapist. This is my dream and sexual health is my passion. It is costing me so much money to do this so I need to make it work. I can't let my negative thoughts about myself destroy this!

Well I am off.....Hugs & Kisses till next time.....
Miss Pinky